Worth Living Ambassador Felicia Singh


Hello, my name is Felicia. I am a 25 year old healthcare professional and
counseling/psychology student with anxiety. As well as someone with an unexplainable
yearning to understand mental health disorders. The who, what, where, when, and whys of it all.

Caution: Felicia discusses Self-harm and Suicide

Cutting

So it’s a usual Sunday morning for me. I’m easing into the second half of my weekend morning
routine which is to sit down coffee in hand with a book, magazine, blog post, you get the jist.

I come across this article in WebMD called the perils of cutting. At first I wasn’t going to
read it. But then I thought this is definitely mental health related so I probably should. I’m
always interested in learning about different aspects of mental related illnesses.

The article was informative. It gave the following numbers of people that cut, scratch, burn, or
bring other bodily harm to themselves. With more than 13% of the adolescents in the U.S that
suffer from this problem and 6% of adults in the U.S that also suffer from this issue. Now I have
only known one individual that has dealt with and overcame this issue. It was a long road of
therapy, medication, expressive outlets, and a great support system.

Control is something we all want on some level or another. We want to be in control of
ourselves and our lives. Those that cut themselves will tell you that the act is not about
mutilating themselves but instead it’s about control. When you inflict physical pain on yourself it
takes your mind off of other things. It creates a mental distraction if you will. This may be a lot
for some of us to wrap our mind around. I personally had a hard time understanding this
concept as our issues don’t simply go away because we don’t think about them. I do understand
that not all of us think in practical terms especially when we are hurting and struggling to find
coping mechanisms and even more so when dealing with any mental health related illness the
word practical belongs no where near that discussion. However, this is definitely not a healthy or productive way to deal with emotions. Based on the numbers I realize that this is a more common issue among adolescents than adults. Which makes sense as teens are in the halfwaypoint between childhood and adulthood. They are still trying to find themselves and are building the necessary skills to be able to deal with the trials of the world.

I don’t have children so I can’t speak on the whole parenting topic in extent. But I will say that
during the adolescent years support and understanding is very crucial for the developing mind.
Therapy and support groups would be beneficial for both younger people and adults that deal
with this problem. Inflicting physical pain on oneself is never the answer. It doesn’t solve
anything and in fact it creates more of an issue. Studies show that people that cut themselves
are seven times more likely to attempt suicide than those that do not. Numbing the pain is not
healing.

We must learn to view our lives as something worth living. Working through our issues
brings peace to our lives. Things will never be perfect but I do believe we all have the ability to
live happy fulfilling lives.


Worth Living Ambassador Chloe Shadbolt


I created my blog  Anxiety, Depression, and Me (www.anxietydepressionandme.com) with the aim of raising awareness for mental health. I focus on sharing a positive outlook on the subject in addition to sharing my personal story alongside the mental health journeys of others.

Is Social Media Bad for Our Mental Health?

Social media is a huge part of a majority of our lives. But is this having a negative effect on our mental health?
A poll of 1500 14-24 year olds recently revealed that social media sites (such as Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat and Twitter) have increased their feelings of inadequacy and anxiety.

Poll – https://www.theguardian.com/society/2017/may/19/popular-social-media-sites-harm-young-peoples-mental-health

Out of all of these, Instagram has been deemed the worst social media platform for this (probably because it’s predominately image focused). The poll revealed that social media poses body image worries, worsens bullying, promotes sleep problems and increases the likelihood of obtaining anxiety, depression and loneliness. On the other hand, the poll also praised social media for the following reasons: self-expression, self-identity, and emotional support.
So let’s divide this post into positives and negatives and look at the question in further detail. We’ll start with the negatives so that we can end on a positive note.

The negatives…

1. Firstly, it is not unknown for social media to be perceived as a filtered sense of reality. We usually only show the most positive aspects of our lives. And this is okay – it’s great to post the positives. However, it does sometimes mean that it leads to people critically comparing their own life with others which gives them a false measure of successes and failures. This is where it can get dangerous.

2. With a false sense of complete reality out there, insecurities lead to low self-esteem particularly with image focused accounts such as Instagram and Snapchat.

3. Expectations of what the ‘perfect’ body looks like (if there is such a thing) can lead to insecurities, body dysmorphia, and depression particularly with the opportunity to edit photos alongside the list of ever growing filters – insecurities are only on the rise.

4. Sleep problems are also heavily influenced by social media. We’ve all heard the stories, perhaps even guilty of them ourselves – where we’ve stayed up until 3am watching YouTube videos and browsing Facebook and Instagram before realising the time.

5. Cyber-bullying is unfortunately a negative element of social media and is something that cannot be ignored.

The positives…

1. Social media isn’t all negative. In fact it’s a very powerful tool which can enable us to reach more people. For me, this is great as it allows me to raise more awareness for mental health. For others, it has helped them raise awareness and money for charity projects on which  they may be working.

2. There is also an opportunity to reach people who are also passionate in the same areas as you. For example, I have connected with other mental health ambassadors and also those who are on the road to recovery. This is great as you can be (almost!) in a world where stigma doesn’t exist.

3. There’s also the benefit of tailoring your online community to those you want to follow and those you don’t. You can also block unwanted negativity from your pages (which proves more difficult to do within the real world).

4. Through social media, I have found that myself and others have used it to display their journey but also to begin the road to recovery. The first step of recovery is acceptance and social media can actually help you to do that – whether you want to share your personal story or not. So in a way, social media can actually help those with mental health conditions.

To summarise…

Are we more comfortable online than we are in the ‘real’ world?

I think this is the question we need to consider. From here we can decide as individuals whether social media has a positive or negative impact on our lives. Social media can be great, but like many things it does carry negatives along with it. It’s important to get the balance right. Although social media can be a great way to communicate in the modern world, it is not healthy to invest too much time into it. Real life friendships and communication are incredibly important and should not be overlooked.

Mentalhealth.org recently posted a blog post (https://www.mentalhealth.org.uk/blog/social-media-and-young-peoples-mental-health) which shares signs to help you identify whether you are being adversely affected by social media. I have posted them below so that you can make a personal judgement as to whether you think social media may be affecting you in a negative way.

Personal review…

• Do you have low self-esteem?
• Do you feel low when you see other people’s images and lifestyle?
• Do you envy other people’s lives/wish your life was like someone else’s?
• Do you consider social media as your first and only choice of activity done for enjoyment?
• Recently feel disconnected and don’t have as many face-to-face conversations with your relatives and friends?
• Being unable to do anything without feeling you need to share it online?


Worth Living Ambassador Felicia Singh

Hello, my name is Felicia. I am a 25 year old healthcare professional and
counseling/psychology student with anxiety. As well as someone with an unexplainable
yearning to understand mental health disorders. The who, what, where, when, and whys of it all.

My Mind

A creative playing ground

A safe space

A scary place

A faceless face

A machine

An opaline

Forever changing

But always engaging

The key to connectivity & proclivity

Untapped potentials

Overt yet covert

A game player

Conscious vs unconscious

Intricate yet delicate

Connected but disconnected

Beautifully created

Never outdated

Slated by society

Shaped by propriety

Memories stowed away for a later day

Thoughts that run wild and want to play

Always in control

The lifelong hold


Worth Living Ambassador Cat Davis

Hello. My name is Cat, and I am a 20-year-old diagnosed with bipolar disorder. Reading and writing became my solace during the darkest times in my life: the times when my journal seemed to be my only friend, the times when my jaw forgot how to make sounds, and my mind failed to form relationships with others. I decided to post my journals on a personal blog, both as a way of releasing my emotions and as a way to continue the mental illness conversation. Through writing out my experiences, I hope to provide hope—even the teeniest tiniest amount, even to only one person—because one cannot survive without hope. Hope is the genesis of recovery. Hope inspires hope. Thank you.

Who Am I If I’m Not Manic

Before sharing my story, I want to make sure everyone is on the same page. So let’s talk a bit about this mysterious illness called “bipolar disorder.”

A person with bipolar disorder fluctuates between two extreme mood states: depression and mania.

I assume most of you know what depression is: feelings of sadness, hopelessness, thoughts of suicide, you know, the stuff you see on antidepressant commercials. I do not mean to write off the severity of depression; it is a debilitating disorder that affects about 7% of the US population, including me. I just mean to say that I believe more people know what depression is than what mania is. I sure did before my bipolar diagnosis.

Mania is a whole different monster. Mania involves grandiose thinking, feelings of euphoria, racing thoughts, high energy, impulsivity, irritability, and other inappropriate social behaviors. A manic episode may feel like the most exhilarating time of a patient’s life, or it may feel like the scariest. I think of my episodes as either “good mania” or “bad mania.”

Bipolar 1 disorder differs from bipolar 2 in that the patient experiences at least one manic episode that results in hospitalization. A person with bipolar 2 instead experiences “hypomanic episodes” (hypo- meaning less, as in less severe) without hospitalization. I am bipolar 1.

Okay, now that we’re all together, on to the main act.

I experienced both manic and depressive symptoms for six years before being diagnosed with bipolar 1 disorder at the ripe age of 20.

But before I was diagnosed with bipolar, I was diagnosed with unipolar depression.

Why?

Because my mania was considered my normal. By everyone. My mania was me. No disorder. No craziness. Just me.

When I didn’t sleep or eat for days, I was me. Because sleeping and eating got in the way of more important tasks, like studying and partying.

When I spent hundreds of dollars on an impulsive shopping spree, I was me.

When my mind buzzed with one million thoughts per hour without pause, I was me. I started up so many projects, too many projects, truly believing I would accomplish all of them, but never did.

When I laughed and yelled and leapt and ran and couldn’t shut up and couldn’t calm down, I was me.

The symptoms I describe above characterize my “good mania.” The mania that was me.

I was perfectly fine being manic.

Until I discovered my “bad mania.”

Bad mania involves screaming and crying and panic attacking and sitting in a bathtub for hours and refusing to get out until someone drags me out out by my wrists and ankles. And begging God to kill me. And trying to kill me.

I sat across from a therapist, and another therapist, and a psychiatrist, who all decided that my bad mania was not mania at all but a symptom of “Major Depressive Disorder.”

They put me on an antidepressant. On this antidepressant, my brain switched between mania and depression faster than ever before, up and down and up and down and up and down. When a bipolar person experiences abnormally fast changes in mood, the professionals call it “rapid cycling.” I call it crazy. The antidepressants made me crazy.

But I hid my crazy well. Too well. I only showed my good mania. The professionals thought I was getting better.

Until I couldn’t hide my crazy any longer, and I wound up in a psychiatric hospital.

And then I wound up in another psychiatric hospital.

And then I was diagnosed with bipolar 1.

And then I found out my mania isn’t my normal.

And then everyone found out my mania isn’t my normal.

And then I found myself engulfed in a total and complete identity crisis. If my mania isn’t my normal, what is?

After I was diagnosed with bipolar, I impatiently waited six months to become “stable.” I didn’t believe in stable. I didn’t believe drugs could make me stable, especially not after my horrific experience on antidepressants.

I woke up one morning.

And I wrote down in my journal that I felt stable.

And I continued writing “stable” in my journal every day for three weeks.

And then I believed in stable.

Stability shone light on who I am if I’m not manic.

Here is a generalized list of my personality traits when I am stable, when I am really me, and not manic me:

I have high self-esteem. I take care of myself by sleeping 9-10 hours most nights, eating healthy (most of the time), and exercising regularly. I listen to what my body needs. I do not race through life at full speed until I collapse.

I am an extrovert. I enjoy partying as a way to meet new friends and mingle with old ones. I allow myself time to be around others without overstaying my welcome.

But I am also an intellectual. I enjoy learning, and thus I enjoy studying (as much as a college student can realistically enjoy studying, of course). My mind knows how to focus on one thought at a time.

I am spontaneous. I love planning random weekend trips with my friends. I love buying presents for others, just because the gifts remind me of them. If I need a bubble bath instead of another long night in the library, I take a bubble bath. I am spontaneous, but I am not impulsive. My spontaneity makes sense. It is for a purpose. My manic impulsivity does not make sense. There is no purpose.

I am creative. I come up with ideas faster than I can write them down. I dream big. But I distinguish between goals I can or cannot accomplish at the given time. Writing a memoir became my big dream six months ago, right after I was discharged from my second psychiatric facility. That’s a prime example of the difference between manic me and stable me: I’ve followed through with my idea to write about my disorder. Manic me would have given up months ago.

I am passionate. I love speaking about anything and everything that fascinates me. I love arguing, but when I’m stable, I keep my head cool. When I’m manic, I explode.

Bipolar is all about extremes. Thus my bipolar exacerbates many of my personality traits. It turns my high self-esteem into grandiosity. It turns my spontaneity into impulsivity. But it is not who I am in and of itself. I am sometimes manic me. I am sometimes depressed me. But my realest, truest self is stable me.

Please visit my personal blog at www.highrisk1.wordpress.com/