Worth Living Ambassador Tylia Flores

Tylia Flores is a 24-year-old born with cerebral palsy. Although her condition has affected her mobility, it has never affected her will and determination to make a difference in the world. Through her many life challenges and obstacles, she discovered her passion for writing. Tylia’s goal in life is to share her stories with the world. In doing so, she hopes to help others with disabilities realize that they too have the potential to make their dreams come true.

Warning : Suicide is mentioned   Spoiler Alert too.

How A Star is Born Should Have Ended

I was sitting in my wheelchair cringing as I saw him prepare a plate of steak for his beloved dog and only a few minutes later to do the unthinkable.  That was the ending to A Star is Born starring Bradley Cooper and Lady Gaga.

My jaw dropped to the floor as I was in disbelief. After all the struggles and tribulations that Jackson Maine had gone through, he decides to do the unthinkable and commit suicide.

I held on to the handle of my chair and I began to become angry and full of emotion not so very much triggered to have suicidal thoughts. But I became very angry because I felt like the character Jackson Maine could overcome the obstacles he was faced with.

He didn’t decide to end the chapters of his life just because he was going through the trials and emulations. It is all part of everyone’s story to have to deal with battles in their own way since not everyone battle is the same in life.

Everyone that we look up to secretly has their own battle like myself who has spastic cerebral palsy. It sometimes it feels like I am trapped within my body because my condition affects my left side but it doesn’t affect the way I live and what I set out to do

Along with having cerebral palsy come the issues of anxiety and depression but I refuse to let that be the reason my story ends.  I will continue to tell my story with my journey with cerebral palsy and how I’m able to stomp on depression and anxiety.

I could have easily been Jack. But I choose not to be and if it ever becomes a thought to want to die and be from my body, I tell myself I’m not ending my story, it’s just getting good.

I think A Star is Born should have ended by Jack’s  overcoming his challenges. He could have written his story through doing what loved the most which was singing and performing for people that loved him. He could have reminded people that he has a life worth living


Worth Living Ambassador Michele King

Hi! My name is Michele and I am 30 years old. Living with both depression and anxiety, I want to be a positive force of change to help end the stigma associated with mental illness, with hopes that what I share will help at least one person who comes across it.

 

Healing

Healing isn’t black and white.

It’s all g r e y matter.

And just when you think you’ve mastered it

there will be another layer to unfold.

 

People think healing is easy

but true healing is

raw

often painful

and

requires hard work.

It’s demanding.

Expecting you to show up for yourself every day.

It’s going to therapy

and confronting

the deepest parts of yourself.

The parts you would like to keep tucked away and never speak of.

It’s choosing to love yourself,

despite the voices telling you

that you’re not enough.

 

It’s letting go

knowing you’re doing the best you can.

It happens on an individual basis

and is very much

an inside job.

 

It’s making strides, a little at a time,

falling down,

and

then

deciding to

get back up again.

 

It’s good days and bad days.

It’s crying one minute and letting yourself laugh the next.

It’s giving yourself grace.

It’s messy.

It’s real.

It’s beautiful.

No healing isn’t black and white, it’s all

g r e y matter.

 


Worth Living Run Ambassador Charlotte Flewelling


I am many things wound into one, the sum of my parts. A human, daughter, sister, sister-in-law, dog auntie. A runner, visual artist, communicator and community maker, a Worth Living Run Ambassador, sharing lived experiences with autism and mental illness (anxiety and depression) and a learning disability (ADHD). A person living her best life here and now, one step at a time. I am Charlotte Flewelling (CharFlew23)

Disclaimer this blog is my opinion based on my lived experiences. If something is stirred within you, seek help.

Suspended

I’m sitting here in a moment in suspension, a moment between the worlds reality and my reality. Floating in a state of bliss but not ignorantly. This is where I’ll start… my bliss is a form of daydreaming. I tend to have my head in the clouds most of the time. I am far from the clouds. I observe life and people very deeply. I’m curious by nature and always have been.

I’m in love with the idea of stories about others or other things. This is the reason why I love writing, taking photos and posting to social media. I’m a huge word nerd and memory maker at my core.

I’ve been challenged and surprised by the community I’ve built. Everyday I’m grateful for it and most days without even knowing, it helps me!

Some of my favourite moments have been on the run. This is why I proudly represent you, Worth Living, as a Run Ambassador. Running has given me a reason to continue and not give up. I’ve had many struggles and continue to go with the ebb and flow “ups and downs” of life.

Growing up and in adulthood, being active has been key to my sanity. I’ll admit, I’d be in a vastly different mindset and spot. Actions speak volumes and for me it can be as simple as an outdoor adventure, run, walk, bike or hike. Sometimes it’s treating myself to a solo coffee date, where if I want, I’ll randomly strike up a conversation with another person. Taking photos of what I’m doing or seeing around me is another creative outlet.

My autism is the biggest mystery still. My diagnosis was in February 2014. I get that some traits, like talking to myself (scenario repeating) can be scary. It’s not scary, just my way of compartmentalizing all the virtual and real noise of life. It’s how I make sense of the world. It’s key to helping me with my creative and memory making moments. It also can be a worse nightmare.

I was left alone on a group hike in 2017. This was the first time I had an extreme rolling thought experience. I’ve been taught to think best case scenario, not in this moment. The rolling thoughts were how to survive the hike, figure out my path to safety (end of trail), and would my parents see me again. I was only 10-15 mins behind the group. The worse part…I was in Fundy National Park with a group of on duty and off duty park staff. This is where I survived and thrived. Mindset from that moment on was challenged, flipped, and served. I was considered lost in the park according to some other staff. I was on my way up to the last rally point when I found that out. I learned that my survival instinct is pretty apt and that I was ready to challenge myself. Later that year, tripping on an uneven sidewalk on my first half marathon, I was challenged again. I’m proud to say that I am a half marathoner.

The moral of all the situations and moments I put myself into is this…expect the unexpected, know that there’s something there to remind you and that as a human, we are able to do and be whatever we set our minds to. Go ahead! The world needs more real and less fake! Your story is part of you, not the whole you. We are in this together ~~ Charlotte Flewelling


Worth Living Ambassador Jenna Fournier


Hello, I’m Jenna, a psychology student at Carleton University. I have been diagnosed with many things, most notably Borderline Personality Disorder, PTSD, Generalized Anxiety Disorder and Social Phobia. I strive to connect with others and share my struggles of mental health and trauma.

Warning: These are my experiences alone and I do not speak for all survivors of sexual violence. Please be warned that the following content may be triggering and discusses sexual violence as its topic.

I am just quietly surviving. And at this point in my life it is all I can do. There is no right way to be a victim. But there are better ways to be a victim. A better victim than I was, than I am. The world wasn’t built for people like us. People who float somewhere between victim and whatever it is that I feel that I am. Someone deserving of what happened to them. Someone who asked for it. Someone who wanted it.

I did say stop. I did push his hands away. Sometimes. But there were times when I just lay there still, unsure of how to navigate the trespassing of my body. But you can’t say no to a question that was never asked.

It could have been worse. It could be worse. I could still be stuck in a violent situation. I could have been held at gunpoint, been a victim of sex trafficking. But my story is plain, and it is simple. I was violated by a man who mistook my kindness for willingness, my silence as agreement. He mistook my desperate need for validation as something more than simple teenage confusion that it was. It may not seem that bad, but it was bad enough to leave seething wounds. Bad enough to leave me living life in fear of bad men dressed in good men’s clothing.

Some people ask, “Why are you so angry?”
All I can think of is “How can you possibly not be?”
With other trauma the crime scene belongs to a car or a house or a battlefield
With rape your body is the crime scene
You can’t ever leave it
You must learn to live in the wreckage
The dress I wore I can no longer wear without feeling his hand slide underneath it
I pray for a day my body feels like it belongs to me instead of just property
I pray for a day I stop flinching every time my lover touches me
I feel like a collection of puzzle pieces made up of every man who’s ever hurt me
But the pieces never fit together quite right and the edges are sharp
Each a piece of glass I am now trying to extract
I never threw out the underwear, but I washed the blood stains out
I’m still trying to figure out what kind of bleach works best for the wounds in my heart.

My body has been through so much.
I’ve cut it, I’ve burned it, I’ve starved it.

But no matter what I do, my body is still here. Still standing. Still breathing. Still not giving up.

Quietly surviving.