Worth Living Ambassador Jade Robledo

Penn State Psychology Student, Mental health advocate and Future Counselor/Mental Health Educator

Caution: this post is about Suicide

The New Plan

What do Robin Williams, Marilyn Monroe, Amy Winehouse, and Chester Bennington have in common?

Sadly, they’re all celebrities who have  died by suicide or had their death ruled as a possible suicide.

Suicide Stats
•Suicide is the 10th leading cause of the death in the US
•Men die by suicide 2.5x more often than woman
•On average, there are 121 suicides per day
-American Foundation of Suicide Prevention

Now, we all know that mental health isn’t treated as important as physical health.  Until these death and until movies/shows like Cyberbullying and 13 Reasons Why came out, Suicide had been a hush subject. Something that no one really wants to talk about.
Well, that really needs to stop. We need to talk about it! We need a new plan! We can reduce the daily and yearly rates of suicide by eliminating the stigma of mental illness, suicide and going to therapy. Also getting educated in Mental Health First Aid (MHFA) or at least knowing how to approach someone who is or can be suicidal can seriously save lives.

Just being able to listen to someone when they are feeling this way can change so much. Just because someone is suicidal or having suicidal thoughts doesn’t mean they just need to be throw into a mental hospital, they could just need someone to talk to, someone to can. Then if they need it, it’ll be easier to suggest getting further help.

So, you may be thinking.. “I am not a mental health specialist or trained in MHFA… what can I do?”

Well, I have a great answer for you:

1. Get educated so you know when someone may be struggling or so you can identify warning signs. (Lucky for you, I have some info in this post! YAY)

2. Be loving, caring and supportive. Don’t lecture them, that’s the last thing they need. Just let them know that they are loved, cared about and their life matters. They really just need a better support system and there are better ways of bringing up getting the proper help with them and that comes with trust and comfort.

3. DO NOT tell them to “stop being negative,” or “Just be more happy or more positive” or that whatever they are upset about isn’t worth it or there are people out there who has it worst. DO NOT EVER SAY THAT. It’s just insulting to say that to someone who is thinking about hurting or killing themselves and it makes them feel worst then they already do makes them feel that they don’t even deserve someone that truly will talk to them about what’s wrong.

* And also it DOES NOT matter how much worse someone else has it, everything we feel, everything we see and hear is OUR own perspective and OUR OWN reality and that’s serious. You don’t know or can never know how badly someone is hurt because you ARE NOT them, you cannot feel their emotions or hear their thoughts. Everyone struggles, yes, some people may have it worst… but that doesn’t mean you can minimize someone else’s pain.

I know most of the things I’ve been saying in this post is get educated!

⇒Let’s say it one more time for the people in the back… GET EDUCATED! ⇐

My main philosophy for mental health education is ECCS: Education, Communication, Caring and Supporting. Four main things you can do need to do in talking to someone with a mental illness or talking to someone who is or can be suicidal. ECCS is very important in a one to one basis for making sure that person who is or can be suicidal gets better.

Now if this person IS suicidal and is trying to attempt or has a plan, follow MHFA’s AGLEE (5 step plan)

A ssess for risk of suicide or harm
L isten nonjudgmentally
G ive reassurance and information
E ncourage appropriate professional help
E ncourage self-help and other support strategies
– Mental Health First Aid

Getting Educated on Warning Signs

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline ( US ) : 1-800-273-8255

Crisis Text line: Text HOME to 741741 (USA)

Below are suicide prevention, warning signs and ways to approach situations that may lead to suicide and are provided by the National Alliance of Mental Illness and American Foundation of Suicide Prevention (I take no credit in any of the information below or any information in the blockquotes; links are all provided):

Know The Warning Signs
•Threats or comments about killing themselves, also known as suicidal ideation, can begin with seemingly harmless thoughts like “I wish I wasn’t here” but can become more overt and dangerous
•Increased alcohol and drug use
•Aggressive behavior
•Social withdrawal from friends, family and the community
•Dramatic mood swings
•Talking, writing or thinking about death
•Impulsive or reckless behavior

-National Alliance of Mental Illness

Warning Signs

Talk

If a person talks about:
•Being a burden to others
•Feeling trapped
•Experiencing unbearable pain
•Having no reason to live
•Killing themselves

Behavior

Specific things to look out for include:
•Increased use of alcohol or drugs
•Looking for a way to kill themselves, such as searching online for materials or means
•Acting recklessly
•Withdrawing from activities
•Isolating from family and friends
•Sleeping too much or too little
•Visiting or calling people to say goodbye
•Giving away prized possessions
•Aggression

Mood

People who are considering suicide often display one or more of the following moods:
•Depression
•Loss of interest
•Rage
•Irritability
•Humiliation
•Anxiety

-American Foundation for Suicide Prevention

Approaching the Situation
•Remove means such as guns, knives or stockpiled pills
•Calmly ask simple and direct questions, such as “Can I help you call your psychiatrist?” rather than, “Would you rather I call your psychiatrist, your therapist or your case manager?”
•Talk openly and honestly about suicide. Don’t be afraid to ask questions such as “Are you having thoughts of suicide?” or “Do you have a plan for how you would kill yourself?”
•If there are multiple people, have one person speak at a time
•Ask what you can do to help
•Don’t argue, threaten or raise your voice
•Don’t debate whether suicide is right or wrong
•If your loved one asks for something, provide it, as long as the request is safe and reasonable
•If you are nervous, try not to fidget or pace
•If your loved one is having hallucinations or delusions, be gentle and sympathetic, but do not get in an argument about whether the delusions or hallucinations are real

If you are concerned about suicide and don’t know what to do, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

-National Alliance on Mental Illness

Together, we can all make a difference.. even if it’s difference in one life… it matters. Mental Health education needs to start and we need to seriously address suicide prevention plans!

Also as a reminder.. You matter so much. Please remember that. If you or anyone you know is suicidal, please please get help. I can’t stress how much you matter.

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline : 1-800-273-8255

Crisis Text line: Text HOME to 741741 (USA)

You are amazing, you are loved, you are important,

With lots of love,

Jade♥

Please follow my personal blog https://lotsoflovebyjade.wordpress.com/2017/


Worth Living Ambassador Michele King

Hi! My name is Michele and I am 28 years old. Living with both depression and anxiety, I want to be a positive force of change to help end the stigma associated with mental illness, with hopes that what I share will help at least one person who comes across it.

Your Voice Matters.

The more I am getting involved in the Mental Health Community the more I am realizing how important it is to keep sharing your experiences with Mental Illnesses.

It can be pretty terrifying to be so open, especially when you are talking about something that is greatly misunderstood and overly stigmatized. Something that people may just glaze over.  It takes courage and an “I don’t give a ___” attitude.

I personally want to share my experiences because something releases in me when I do. I come out of it feeling lighter. Of course, a lot of times that is right after I am a little shaky and want to vomit because I was just being so vulnerable to whomever chooses to read what I am writing. (Yikes.)

I also choose to share because I spent a large portion of my life being quiet, not speaking up. This made me feel alone and powerless which in turn would drop me back into the depression loop which can be dangerous.

While I have never tried to harm myself physically or kill myself, we all know too well what can happen when someone is riding the depression loop and loses the battle.

We need to share our stories to educate those who may be ignorant to the reality of mental illnesses and the importance of Mental Health. Realistically, just about everyone will have to deal with their mental health at one point or another in their life and some people just have to do it Every. Damn. Day.

We need to speak for these people.

For the people who need to know they are not alone and that their feelings are valid.

For the people who are afraid to ask for help because they don’t want to be judged or ridiculed.

For the people who want to believe that things can get better but aren’t totally convinced.

The thing about mental illnesses is that HELLO! It takes place in your brain- a powerful organ that in some cases can leave you fighting to believe in the good and to believe in yourself.

I have been extremely lucky to have a group of supportive people surrounding me as I share my experiences. I know that isn’t always the case– but that is why it is VITAL that we all keep sharing our stories.

So, to those of you who are feeling like your aren’t making a difference or things will never get better. What you have to say matters.

YOUR voice matters.


Worth Living Ambassador Emma Pratt


 Hi everyone! My name is Emma and I am 23 years old from Ottawa, Ontario. Mental health has been a part of my personal life for about seven years. It had found its way into almost every part of my life when I decided why not invite it in fully and make it my job! I am a Social Service Worker with a passion for mental health. I try to do all that I can to create conversations surrounding mental health and to reduce the stigma that surrounds it. I like to live by saying “When we replace the I in illness with a We, it becomes wellness,” and that is my goal in life.

Can a Helper Ask for Help?

When I ask someone for help, I like to assume that they have the capabilities to help me. I put my trust and faith in this person in hopes that they can adequately help me navigate through the problems of my life. But what if I knew that the person I am trusting to help me needed the very same help that I am asking them for?

I am a helper. I help people. I do my best to guide people, to help them, and to advocate for them in situations where necessary. I am a social service worker. I have worked for two years in the field of mental health and am embarking on a new chapter of my career in a new role as an addiction support counsellor. Sometimes I worry that I am not cut out for this. I couldn’t count the number of times I have asked myself the following question, “How do you expect to help other people when you need help just as badly?”

I was diagnosed with depression when I was sixteen, and generalized anxiety disorder when I was eighteen. Mental health has been a part of my life for seven years. It’s the reason I chose the career path that I did, yet it’s the very reason I find myself questioning it.

During my dark days, this question sounds in my head with a resounding echo. However, on days when my mind is quieter, this question is one I can answer perfectly and with great certainty.

The struggles I have faced, and continue to face, have shaped me into the woman I am today. Would I want someone who has never gotten a tattoo before to tell me how badly getting a tattoo hurts? No. I would want someone who has gone through the experience themselves to tell me what it felt like and how I might find the experience myself. My own mental health status has not only brought me to do the work that I love to do, but I think it has made me even more well suited to it. I have a personal story to bring to the table, I can empathize with the people I work with, I can do my best to put myself in the shoes of another. But most of all, I can understand that when it comes to mental health, each and every story is different. The stories of what a mental illness looks like are as diverse as the people affected by mental illness. I have seen this diversity, I have felt it, and I try to live and breathe it into the work that I do.

I used to be scared that my mental health status would impede me from pursuing the work that I am passionate about. I used to think that there was no way I could be successful in this field. But what I try to tell myself now is that the struggles I have faced  and the difficulties I have endured made me passionate about this work. Without living through the darkness, I would not have been able to embrace the person that the darkness made me.

Mental illness has been a part of my life for many years, but mental health will be a part of me for the rest of my life. I am proud to share with clients the places I have been and the places I hope to go. I am proud to see the light go on behind their eyes when they see that they can get there too  wherever there is for them. I am proud to be a helper who needs to ask for help sometimes.


Worth Living Ambassador and Official DJ Scratchley Q


Scrathley Q is a 23 year old from Manitoulin Island who loves sharing her passion for DJing with the public. She is a natural performer who has no problem filling a dance floor and keeping it moving. Scratchley Q is a high energy performer who has established a reputation as a versatile and professional, hardworking DJ. She presents a weekly Top Countdown of music videos for the WL blog.  She also has mixed 5 Volumes of Worth Living BPM Therapy  www.mixcloud.com/djscratchleyq

Caution: DJ Scratchley Q discusses Suicide

 

The Guilt and Shame after a Suicide Attempt

Yes, I attempted suicide, yes, I failed, and yes ,I feel guilty. I’m not proud of my attempt. In fact, I regret what I had done. I wish I could turn back time and change everything. For years I kept my suicide attempt a secret from everyone. I never wanted to talk about it. I even tried to forget about it and pretend that nothing happened. But here I am facing my fears hoping to help at least one person. I’m sure at least one other person has felt what I have. What most don’t know is often people who commit suicide don’t actually want to die. They just want the pain to end. In that second when they are about to take their own lives, they just want the pain to stop. At that time, before ending their own life, it was the only thing that seems logical. Today I’m still learning to cope with the shame and the guilt that I have felt after my attempt.
Guilt, I didn’t feel guilty and I didn’t think about guilt beforehand until I woke up in the hospital room, cold, severe ringing in my ears, a terrible headache, aching body, IVs in my arm. A doctor came in to tell me how lucky I was, then had to draw blood from my wrist to send off for testing. I didn’t feel lucky. I was slightly confused about why I was still alive. I was grateful I was alive, but the guilt set in. I started to piece together in my head the things that I could remember. I felt deep emotional pain, I felt worthless and stressed. My anxiety was at an all -time high. I swallowed a lethal dose of aspirin right before I went to bed. I remember it was early in the morning, 3am, I was at home, a family member heard me yelling for help, my parents drove me to the hospital in a snow storm. I don’t remember anything else. Lying alone in the hospital, I started to feel like I let my family down, I let myself down, everyone is going to find out and judge me.

I felt shame. I was beyond humiliated. People say that people who die by suicide are selfish. I wasn’t trying to be selfish. Someone found me in a terrible state. Seeing my parents for the first time after the attempt was the worst. Even though they love me unconditionally, I could tell they were not impressed, I could feel anger and confusion from them. There was no sympathy for what I had done. I know I have caused so many others pain.

I wish I could say my care at the hospital was good but it wasn’t. The doctor was great, but the nurses treated me poorly. I even heard one say as she started her shift “is that stupid young girl still here that attempted suicide, she’s just seeking attention”. I later came to realize that maybe she is just ignorant or not educated about mental illness. More shame and guilt when it came to seeing if I was mentally stable enough to be released. The questions that the evaluator asked me before I could be released were the most difficult, but I knew if I answer the questions a certain way I would be released. So I lied for some of the questions, okay, maybe a majority of the questions just so I could go home and hide from the world.

Home was difficult for a while. I was terrified someone would approach me about it. As I said, I didn’t want to talk. I agreed to go to therapy as to see a professional. I didn’t like that she made me feel like a bad person even more than what I felt already. She basically told me my situation was all my fault. After a few short weeks of therapy, I said I no longer needed it. The truth is I didn’t connect with the professional and I had no other option.

Since then I have found ways to deal with my shame and guilt. Every once in a while it gets very challenging and hard to deal with. I’m slowly learning to accept the fact that I’m still internalizing the shame and guilt. I know I shouldn’t have to. I know I have a few close people I can talk to. The fight is long and strenuous but I have to keep fighting. I encourage anyone who has felt the same as me to reach out to someone. You don’t have to do this alone. Keep fighting.

Your Live is Worth Living.  – Scratchley Q

 


Worth Living Ambassador & Official DJ Scratchley Q

After the passing of Chester Bennington last week, I was asked to do a Top 10 Countdown with just Linkin Park songs. As a fan, this countdown was super challenging not only because there are so many good LP songs and each song has a special message, but also knowing that Chester is no longer on this earth is difficult. You just never know the battles someone might be fighting deep down inside. Sometimes we don’t understand what goes on inside someone’s head and how they are truly feeling. I encourage everyone to be nice to one another and listen to each other with open ears and an open heart. If you think someone is struggling or thinking of suicide, don’t be afraid to reach out to that person. So here’s this week’s Linkin Park Countdown in memory of Chester    – Scratchley Q

Visit: http://chester.linkinpark.com/

Linkin Park Top 10 Countdown
 
10. Lost In The Echo

9. Castle Of Glass

8. Somewhere I Belong

7. Crawling

6. Heavy (ft. Kiiara)

5. New Divide

4. What I’ve Done

3. Burn It Down

2.  In The End

1. Leave Out All The Rest

Bonus Track….One More Light


Worth Living Ambassador Kimberley Robinson


Hi! My name is Kimberley, I am 21 years old and I am from England. I feel like anxiety has always been a part of my life from a young age but wasn’t diagnosed with generalised anxiety disorder till I was 17. Having struggled with it for four years, in recent months I have also been diagnosed with depression. Just an aspiring counsellor fighting the stigma one day at a time!

Is There a Way Out Of Here?

I often think back to times in my childhood where I think, ah it makes sense now. At six years old I thought it was ‘normal’ to be sat crying in the dinner hall not wanting to eat my dinner because it was too loud. I felt like the walls were crashing around me and I felt sick to my stomach. I’m guessing that must have been where it all started? When I received invitations to class mates’ parties,  I would cry to my mum and tell her I didn’t want to go because I didn’t want her to leave me. Moving up through the years of primary school would be a constant struggle, starting a new class with a new teacher, what if they shouted at me? What if I couldn’t keep up with my friends in my class? Everyone is going to laugh at me.

My anxiety subsided when I started high school which is quite surprising. I rarely had any bouts and I enjoyed going to school. From the age of 13,  I dreamed of being a nurse, I have always wanted to help people, I am extremely empathetic and compassionate and I thought I would make a fantastic nurse.

When I left school, I went to college and studied a health and social care course where I delved even more into the nursing career. The more I learnt the more I wanted to know. Whilst coming to the end of my first year of college,  my mum and dad split up after being together 26 years. My life was turned upside down, I suddenly had more responsibility as my younger sister was only 12. My dad moved out and my mum started to have a ‘social life’ and was online dating. My dad became depressed and he would text me all day everyday asking what my mum was doing and telling me he didn’t know if he could go on anymore without her and without living with me and my sister.

It’s safe to say that’s when my anxiety hit me HARD. I started my second year of college and I was struggling a lot. I was gagging when I was waking up in the morning because I was so nervous about going. I used to have to run to the bus stop and get on the bus before I changed my mind and turn back. It only got worse from there, I felt completely alone, my mum got into a new relationship, my dad got into a new relationship, my sister was too young to understand and I just felt so alone. I went to the doctors to get a proper diagnosis. They told me I had generalised anxiety disorder but didn’t really help me with much else. I was skipping college, somehow I managed to finish my course and by some miracle I received 3 A*’s (top marks) and secured a place at university after going through an absolutely draining interview process.

Although I had my place at nursing school,  I felt like it was nothing but a dream to become the nurse I have always wanted to be as my anxiety was just too debilitating.

After leaving college I had a few months gap before starting university so I got myself a job and I met my wonderful boyfriend. My anxiety was ok, I could function, I felt a lot better than I had done and I thought I had gotten through it. I started nursing school a little wobbly but just put it down to healthy nerves. I passed my first semester with flying colours and I was doing really well, but then anxiety started creeping back up on me and I could feel it going out of control.  I managed to get through my second semester but didn’t know how much further I could go.

I was approaching the end of my first year and my final exam and placement were coming up. I managed to get through the exam (just about), my boyfriend was extremely supportive, and held me whilst I was crying in his car before I had to go in and sit the exam. I was a wreck. Somehow I got through it though.

My first day at my final placement came and I crumbled. I never went back. My dream was over. I felt embarrassed. I felt ashamed. I had let myself down. My anxiety completely took over my life. I had developed debilitating health anxiety from learning about lots of different things whilst at nursing school and I convinced myself that my horrible tension headaches that I had been having were something a lot more serious.  For nearly two years  I still believed it was something serious, suffering every day, four visits to the doctors about them, whilst they ‘reassured’ me I was fine.

Since leaving university,  I have a had a couple of jobs in customer service but anxiety has made me really struggle and chipped away at me every single day. I have been subject to discrimination and singled out because of my mental illness within work places which made me extremely passionate about squashing the stigma around mental illness.  It’s been a blessing in disguise as I believe this is what I should be doing in life.

I have been blogging about mental illness, I have secured a place at university again studying psychology, counselling and psychotherapy which I start in September and I hope to pursue a career in helping and supporting people who live with the mental illness every day. I have been put here to make a difference in the way people see mental illness and that’s exactly what I set out to do.

Thank you so much for reading

Kimberley x

P.s go follow my Instagram @whereanxietytalks !!


Worth Living Ambassador Felicia Singh


Hello, my name is Felicia. I am a 25 year old healthcare professional and counseling/psychology student with anxiety. As well as someone with an unexplainable yearning to understand mental health disorders. The who, what, where, when, and whys of it all. I am a regular contributor to the Worth Living Blog.

Give Support to Get Support

I’ve mentioned in my past posts how crucial a strong support system is to living a stable and fulfilling lifestyle when living with a mental illness. For those who  deal with a mental illness,  you are aware of the trials and struggles that you may go through. The ups and downs of your illness. Now think for a second what those trials and struggles may be like for the people in your life. How do they feel?

Communication is key in any healthy relationship. Being able to effectively interact with the people in our lives is important. For someone who plays the role of a spouse, parent, friend, or family member to someone with a mental illness communication may not seem such a simple thing. It’s important to discuss the details of your mental illness with the people in your life. They should understand your stressors and your triggers just as well as you do.

What about your role in a relationship? We discuss often the stigma that surrounds mental health and the assumptions that people tend to make about those of us who may be living with a mental health disorder.

Let’s be objective for a second and actually take a look at some of those stereotypes that may actually have merit. Can you be moody and unpredictable? Do you have a difficult time connecting and relating to other people? Are you inconsistent? Do you ever feel irrational?  For those of us that deal with bipolar disorder, anxiety, depression, or other personality disorders (just to name a few), these may actually describe a few aspects of our personality. Our illness is our illness. We must all play the cards that we were dealt BUT you should play the hell out of them.

Your mental illness does not have to define who you are. It doesn’t give you a pass to treat the people in your life unfairly. It’s not a get out of jail free card. It’s something that we should except, explore, and figure out the best method of how to best deal with it. Understand that for the people in your life your mental illness can be frustrating and confusing.

Take some time today to really tell the people in your life how much you appreciate and respect them. Take responsibility for your behaviors and actions. Come up with different and healthy ways for dealing with your mental illness. Having a mental illness is not a choice but choosing to deal or not deal with it is. Remember that. As long as you’re alive your life has meaning and it’s definitely worth living.


Worth Living Ambassador and Official DJ Scratchley Q


Scrathley Q is a 23 year old from Manitoulin Island who loves sharing her passion for DJing with the public. She is a natural performer who has no problem filling a dance floor and keeping it moving. Scratchley Q is a high energy performer who has established a reputation as a versatile and professional, hardworking DJ. She presents a weekly Top Countdown of music videos for the WL blog.  She also has mixed 5 Volumes of Worth Living  BPM Therapy  www.mixcloud.com/djscratchleyq

Tackling Mental Health in the Music Industry

Many people say that 2016 was the breakthrough year for mental health in the music industry. Many musicians have spoken out about their struggles with mental illness. Some musicians including Zayn Malik, Kesha, Selena Gomez, Adele, Lady Gaga, just to name a few. But is it really enough? What is really behind the scenes of the music industry when it comes to the stigma around mental health? Most people can agree that music can make you feel good when you’re feeling down. Music can put you in a good mood.  Music is a way to express feelings that we may not have the exact words for. Music is a wonderful thing we can all agree.

The music industry is glamorous, right? Well, that might not be the case. Studies have found that musicians are 3 times more likely to suffer from depression. Being in the spotlight is a challenge in its self. The interviews, paparazzi, meetings, travel, promos, performance after performance during tours. Too much of this can lead to poor lifestyle choices, late nights, alcohol, drugs, and more which then can lead to poor mental health.

Musicians struggle with passion vs. job insecurity. Musicians are full of passion when it comes to creating and performing music. Sometimes we forget to turn off work mode. Most often there is no “work off” switch option. As I said, being in the spotlight is not easy. Issues like depression, stress, anxiety, loneliness, panic attacks, self- harm in some cases, suicide are all too common in the industry.

In the last few years the industry has lost some great names. Suicides in the music industry should be a wake- up call for the industry to change a few things and quickly. It’s not something that can just wait. Who is to blame? The musician, managers, agents? Like the average person, musicians find it difficult to reach out especially when in the spotlight because there is no privacy. No one want’s others to judge them and no one wants to potentially lose their job. It can be very difficult. Now let’s put the musicians aside for a second. We can’t forget the managers, booking agents, the people that are behind the musicians. Many young mangers who  are just starting out in their careers lack resources. They may be struggling too, but feel afraid to ask for help. They may feel like they cannot ask for help because it might make them look unreliable and unprofessional. The stigma is strong and it will take a long time to break those barriers.

Job security in the music industry adds to the touchy subject. Sure, there are contracts and such, but if you can’t bring what the client needs or wants, you become old news. Your career is done! The music industry is working on ending the stigma around mental health and finding ways to create a strategy that will help everyone in the industry from the ground up. There is a long way to go. The music industry needs to work with partners and professionals of their own industry. Now that the industry has started to open the dialogue about mental health they need a concerted strategy that can help. No one should struggle in silence, we are all human, no matter our profession. The music industry should not have to suffer in silence. To the music industry, let’s keep that dialogue open. We need to come together as one.  – Scratchley Q


Worth Living Ambassador Ann Ottaway


Ann is a 30 year old former legal assistant, animal lover, and a believer in new beginnings. Ann shares her recovery journey with the hope that her story allows others to realize they are not alone.  She is a regular contributor to the WL Blog.

Caution: Ann mentions Suicide

A Tribute – Chester Bennington

I can vividly remember the seventeen year old version of myself listening to the songs that captured my feelings in ways that I never could. Navigating my own feelings let alone putting them into words felt impossible and frustrating beyond comprehension, but I had those songs to do it for me. As I reflect on the death of Chester Bennington,  I reflect on memories of myself crying and trying to capture my breath as his voice articulated everything that I could not.

Flash forward fourteen years later to a time when I hear those songs again and those overwhelming feelings are a distant memory. After a suicide crisis and over a year of treatment, I can articulate all of the feelings I once had. I have tools to cope with my emotions and medication to manage my symptoms. Fourteen years after I needed the voice of someone else to speak for me, I am in recovery and living a healthy and happy life.

Now the same voice that helped me through so much pain is gone. The voice that I felt so much empathy for is gone. The voice that touched the lives of countless others who felt just like I did is gone.

So much sadness surrounds his death. I am sad for his wife and six children, his family, friends and fans. Mostly, I feel sadness for a man who helped so many people but ultimately felt so helpless that he ended his own life.

I have read many tributes that show gratitude for his life by people who felt just like I did and got through their experiences by listening to the same songs. A life ended by suicide ought not to be remembered simply as a tragedy. Instead, I choose to remember a life which brought hope to myself, my friends and thousands of strangers. When death occurs it leaves a ripple effect, but it in no way overshadows the impact of the life that preceded it.


Worth Living Ambassador & Official DJ Scratchley Q

We have all heard the saying self- care isn’t selfish. Often we caught up in our busy lives and forget to take some time for ourselves. Each person’s idea of self-care and self- love is different. It’s up to that person to find out what is best for them. Maybe your self-care routine involves some music. If that’s the case here is this week’s countdown featuring anthems of self-care and self- love. Feel free to play on repeat. Enjoy -Scratchley Q

Worth Living Top 10 Countdown- Self Love / Self Care Anthems

10. Who You Are -Jessie J

9.Flawless -Beyonce ft. Nicki Minaj

  1. Titanium -David Guetta ft. Sia
  1. I Feel Beautiful -Fantasia
  1. Unpretty- TLC
  1. Shine -Anna Nalick
  1. Shake it Out -Florence and the Machine
  1. Love Myself -Hailee Steinfeld
  1. Needed Me -Rihanna

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VEjQ0Pjv3NM

 

  1. Video -India Arie
  2. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mq86e4Fhja0