How Far

Worth Living Ambassador Cynthia Rizzo

 

I am a 24 year old Latina, born and raised in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. Former film student at Vancouver Film School. Currently navigating her way through the storm with a hot chocolate and two reluctant cats. Writes poetry, currently in the process of writing a short film,  and planning a third visit to Europe.

 

So far
I’ve got nothing going for me these days.
I don’t have a job and I’m not in school.
I’m too scared to go back into an industry that makes me feel invalid. I don’t have the face or body for tv or movies.
I can’t even drive because I’m anxious all the time.
I’m rude and a downer when I truly don’t mean to be.

I say these things and have written them down so many times.

I believe it.

I don’t have a lot going for me these days.

But I try.

My writing is my saving grace. I can say all I want. I can cuss out my enemies and write about fantastical places.

My love for singing has me blasting music and singing at the top of my lungs that would have my former music teacher proud.

And still…

I feel utterly alone.

I’m not popular.

Not many people like me.

I’m no ones girlfriend.

I’m a mess of a daughter.

And yet I’m still here…

So far…

I’ve got nothing going for me.

But I’ve got a long way to go.

And I hope to see just how far.

 

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