What a Life

Worth Living Ambassador Cynthia Rizzo

Cynthia Rizzo,24. Born and raised in Saskatoon. Former film student at VFS.
 “Wanderlust is a problem that I don’t want to solve and hot chocolate is my antidepressant.”

Caution: Cynthia mentions suicide

 What a Life

It came back.
I should have known it would.
It was so subtle, that it got by all my defensives, without me even feeling it.

I guess you could say that I was on a high.
Everything was still going wrong but I don’t even know if I cared or for once I was being optimistic.

I was diagnosed a month ago with Borderline Personality Disorder. So I have depression and chronic anxiety on top of that. So maybe that should have been my first clue of my numbness.

What a life!

Suicidal thoughts are at full force and the little solider that I am, is very ready to give up.

Dealing with my own stuff and reading about two, talented men, take their own lives, makes me feel that I’m holding on to false hope.

I also just lost my best friends. I pushed them too far away. Maybe it’s for the best. I was a horrible friend and if I can’t handle myself, I don’t expect anyone else too.

Self- loathing aside, I’m hoping to start a small project about my struggles. If I can get the help I require maybe I can do it.

I’m honestly just waiting on a miracle at this point.

The light at the end of the tunnel is I regret to say, getting dimmer and dimmer, each and every day.

What a Life.

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