Author: Keith Anderson

Worth Living Ambassador Lisa Anderson

My name is Lisa. Formerly a successful marketing manager for Fortune 50 corporations, I am now passionately dedicated to advocating for mental health awareness, chronic pain education, and suicide prevention

Sure, you could do flowers, candy, dinner – maybe even a little champagne and Victoria’s Secret. All great. But, if you really want to get romantic, try this out on the object of your desire.

Be fully and authentically present with them. It means I see you. I hear you.

At the end of the day, that’s what we all want. To be acknowledged. It’s an affirmation that we are here and that we matter.

The greatest gift that you can give is you. Your undivided attention. Eye contact. Active listening. Put the phone away. Forget your to-do list or the score of the game. You are 100% there, fully engaged.

Yep, that’s it. Mindful LOVING. It’s quite simple really, yet profound.

Today, the world is almost completely at odds with this behavior. Think back to the last time you were at a restaurant. How many people were mesmerized by their phone instead of their dining partner?  Is “quality time” spent in front of the TV? Even walking down the street, our focus is rarely on those around us. How many people do we look at each day without really seeing them?

Now, what if you expanded your intentional focus beyond your sweetheart? Perhaps a neighbor, a co-worker, or a perfect stranger? It may be a brief interaction at the market or the time that you spend at the family dinner table.

Teachers, parents, grandparents – consider your interaction with the children in your lives. With so many distractions, our minds are divided at best. Are we raising a mindful  generation? When our children mirror our actions, which they inevitably do, what does it look like?

Fewer than 24 hours left until valentines are exchanged and adoration is passionately expressed. In the spirit of devotion, extend yourself. YOU are a beautiful gift. Immerse yourself in the present moment with your beloved. Try it and see if that doesn’t melt your lover’s heart.

I see you. I hear you. You are worthy. Spread the love.

Please visit my facebook page – http://Power Not Pain

Worth Living Founder Keith Anderson

Whether it’s the angst of Eric Clapton’s Layla, the bluntness of ZZ Top’s Legs, or the joy of The Beatles’ Love Me Do, love and music have always gone together.

When I would meet a woman, one of my ‘get to know her’ questions was, “What kind of music do you like?” For many years, it was simply a question, one of many. Though some responses were certainly indicative of how short the relationship would be. That question carries more relevance for me now given the role music played in the dark days of my depression, and then in my recovery. I find now that lyrics have become very important when I am listening to music. Certain songs are not only enjoyable, but provide some significance for me, and can have the power to change the course of my day.

I met someone a woman few years ago – EM, as she prefers to be called. The afternoon after we met, we got together at a Halifax coffee shop. We found ourselves discussing many topics from my journey through depression to her studies at Dalhousie University. We talked for hours. Though healthy, I hadn’t spoken with a woman one on one with that sparkle for many years.  OK, 12 years!  Those years were spent getting healthy, learning how to re-enter the world. But onward I went, talking, laughing and getting to know her.

Though there were certainly differences between us but there was far more in common. I quickly discovered that one of her favourite artists is Van Morrison. Van ranks high on my list as well.  We both know Van is an acquired taste, and he is certainly not a Top 10 hit maker nowadays. So for EM to have been exposed to Van at all, let alone enjoy his music, spoke a lot about her.  So, I ventured back into the relationship world with music as one of my key reference points.

A few weeks later, I noticed a post  EM made on social media  listing albums that had impacted her.  The list, of course, included Van’s Astral Weeks, but then I noticed Fleetwood Mac’s Rumours was also listed. That album was huge when I was a teenager just starting to listen to music. I remember playing it the summer I was 16. I had just gotten my driver’s license and so cruising with Don’t Stop Thinking About Tomorrow cranked up was too cool. Great memories! I was both pleased and impressed  with her   musical taste. It gave us more in common. It helped me appreciate and understand her better. It also made me feel comfortable in talking with her.  Given the time since my last relationship, I needed things in common. We shared something that was important to both of us.

I presented at a local university a few months after we met. I invited EM to join me and she readily accepted. As we drove the hour to the school, I suggested she find some music for us to enjoy. She chose Alt Nation – not a channel I would think to check out. The music was certainly different, but actually rather good. It was something new for me to experience musically. Well done, EM!

EM spent the following summer at home in Ontario and so we were apart. One summer day,  as I was driving the 5 hour trip from my hometown of Sydney to Halifax, EM and I texted most of the trip (yes, I pulled over each time to read and respond!).

About half way there, I thought it was time to hear some music. I turned on Classic Vinyl and Bob Segar’s You’ll Accompany Me was playing:

“I’ll take my chances babe I’II risk it all
I’ll win your love or I’II take the fall
I’ve made my mind up girl it’s meant to be
Someday lady you’ll accomp’ny me

Someday lady you’ll accomp’ny me
Out where the rivers meet the sounding sea
I feel it in my soul, it’s meant to be
Oh someday lady you’ll accomp’ny me”

Music can define a moment and even a relationship.

A version of this post previously appeared on http://BringChange2Mind

Worth Living Ambassador Jessica Rodarte

Hi world! My name is Jessica Rodarte. I’m just a normal 24-year-old discovering my purpose in life. I am currently on the pursuit of happiness after being diagnosed with a mental illness earlier this year.  I’ve overcome many obstacles throughout this journey by turning my negative into a positive for others.

My life completely changed when I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety last year. Going to therapy, starting antidepressants, and learning how to live again became my main focus. I had to adapt to my new normal. It was hard the first couple of months, but eventually I adjusted. Therapy was helping tremendously, but finding the right medication for my body took some time. After trial and error with three different medications, I finally found one that worked (or so I thought).

I am currently experiencing a relapse with my depression and anxiety. It is very hard to understand. I have been on the same medication since mid-November and believed it was helping me with my recovery. Life was going great; everything was falling into place. I was finally taking back my life and showing my depression who’s boss. I did not think relapse was possible for me.

When I was first diagnosed, I was oblivious to all the symptoms I was experiencing. Loss of appetite, too much sleep/lack of sleep, irritability, social withdrawal, fatigue, and being in a daze were just some of my symptoms. Once I was aware of my mental state, it all made sense. Unfortunately, for the past few months I was again oblivious to what was happening to me. I was slowly going back into the deep, dark hole of depression I thought I had survived.
I have many emotions about my relapse. I feel stupid, embarrassed, and ashamed for not realizing my mental and physical health was once again declining. How could I not recognize the signs? I thought I had everything under control! So once again, here I am trying to understand why this is happening to me. I was on a great road to recovery, what happened? I guess deep down I knew something was wrong, but I just didn’t want to face it. I failed at my recovery.

So here I am back to square one. Do I change my medication again? Do I start going back to therapy every week? WHAT DO I DO? I honestly HATE being on medication, I just want to be done with it. I need medication to be “normal”, I need medication to sleep; it makes me feel pathetic. I don’t remember the last time I was able to sleep through the night on my own. When I sit back and realize how my life has changed over the past year, it amazes me. Will I ever be okay?

So here I am back in the crossroads of recovery. As hard as it is for me right now, I have to keep going. I have to keep fighting! I can’t let depression get the best of me again. I have worked too damn hard to give up. I came across this saying, “Healing is Not Linear” and it couldn’t be more true. Healing is unpredictable. I took 100 steps forward toward my recovery and now I am 50 steps back. I have to embrace the healing process. With this new understanding that healing is not linear, I am ready to take on round two of my battle with depression and anxiety.

You can follow my personal blog at http://Beeing Less

Worth Living Ambassador Harry Westall

I’m passionate about reducing the stigma surrounding mental health and also finding new and interesting ways to help those who suffer. I am currently studying music at degree level, with my main research area being the different ways music can help alleviate symptoms of depression and anxiety. I’m also in the process of releasing music that inspires and encourages sufferers, helping them feel less alone.

For my first post for Worth Living, I wanted to write  about my experiences of losing the passion, inspiration, and motivation for my dreams and my life in general. But also how I’m slowly clawing those things back.

From the age of ten years old, my sole goal in life was to become an international rock star. It kinda sounds funny when you say it aloud. But it’s the only thing I ever wanted. Through my high school (UK 11-16) and College years (UK 16-18), I was so driven towards my goal. I lived and breathed it, there was nothing more I desired from life than this.

Over the last year or so, I noticed my depression taking its toll on my life again. It’s always affected things since being 16, but I would usually manage to pull through and get back on track eventually. However, this last year, I would avoid music completely, because all of a sudden I presumed I would be a failure. I thought ‘it’s best off not trying and having the happy thoughts and try and be disappointed.’ I would turn to heavy amounts of alcohol and binge eat, sit in front of the television and do nothing all day. As well as treating my then partner in such poor ways hoping she’d one day just leave and eventually she did. I had lost my drive, because well, what was the point? My mind was telling me that I was never going to get what I wanted, that basically everything within me was wrong and useless, that I was a horrible person, that I don’t have the talent, and that I didn’t have a life worth living.

I was lost in numbness, with no direction, and I didn’t want to be here anymore. I’ve felt like this multiple times before, but this time, things just didn’t seem to shift.

Eventually, after I lost too much from my life, I began to really want to change. I realised how depression had ruined so much for me, how it consumed every part of my life, and I didn’t want that anymore. But it wasn’t easy to begin the change. In fact, every day of my life I have to at least try to push through those feelings of dread, numbness and pain, it’s exhausting. And some days, the depression wins. But you know what? That’s ok. It’s ok that your mental illness gets the better of you sometimes, or the majority of times. It’s completely normal. Something which helped me get out of the further feelings of self- loathing from ‘allowing’ my mental illness to win, was to just accept it. Accept the moment as it was. When you accept the moment as it is, you don’t meet it with resistance, and when you don’t meet it with resistance, further pain won’t come as easily.

Every day is an uphill battle, but for me, remembering to count the little achievements along the way makes a huge difference. No matter how small they are. They give you a sense of achievement, which helps you push through the day that little bit easier.

So that’s what I started to do and before I knew it, I was slowly back on the road again with my dreams. Although another niggling voice was inside my head, telling me that it was pointless to keep making music, because what’s your purpose? Why are you doing it? It’s just for your own selfish reasons, you’re so selfish. It stopped me in my tracks again.  I could feel myself sinking lower and lower, until one day when I had an idea. An idea to create inspiring, motivational music FOR people.  Music that people could listen to in their time of need, and feel uplifted. The drive to help others going through similar situations helped me hugely, it has inspired so much creativity and passion again that I once thought I’d lost. As of recent, things have been hard, I’m struggling. But when I remember the intention of why I began this project, it helps guide me through the darkness a little. My dreams of being an ‘international  rock star’ may have been humbled slightly, but a new dream for helping others has surfaced to re-ignite my flame and put me on the right path once again.

I guess what I’m trying to say is, don’t worry if your passion for your dreams is gone because of your mental Illness. It will come back, maybe in a new and exciting form based on your current experiences. Accept where you are, celebrate everything, however small. This is not the end. You really do have a life worth living.

I would love it if you chatted to me over which ever social media you please! Let me know what you thought of the post, and keep up to date with the music that will soon be released!

Harry

Social Media Links:
Twitter: https://www.twitter.com/mindlessmuso
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/mindlessmuso
Blog: https://www.mindlessmuso.wordpress.com

Worth Living Ambassador Ruairi McEnroe

My name is Ruairi McEnroe, an ultra-runner from Ireland.

My mindfulness journey started in early 2015 after having watched my wife benefit from the practice. Anxiety had cropped up in my life and something needed to change. I started meditating using the Insight Timer app and joined the wonderful online community. I also wanted to understand my practice so I completed an eight week MBCT (Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy) class.

What I got out of it was that I have the necessary tools to stay in the present, whatever way I am feeling. I am more focused and see things a little clearer. When I am out having dinner, I am able to enjoy the meal fully instead of thinking where I need to be next or where I must go. Think of the possibilities here and how this could benefit your situation. I have completed some silent retreats and practice daily. It has helped me with running in a big way.

There are inevitable disappointments and it helped me realize that it is okay to have these emotions and sensations but if anyone can practice mindfulness in a few easy steps, there is no  better place to go or state to be achieved.

Find a quiet space and time to be by yourself. This only takes a few minutes.

Get into a comfortable position, close your eyes if you feel okay otherwise find a spot to focus on.

Observe what is going on, paying attention to what is happening in the body, without judgment.

The mind will wander, this is what minds do. When you notice this happen, just acknowledge and move on. Use your breath as an ‘anchor’, feel the rising and falling of the belly.

Instead of fighting them, invite them in. Say, ‘I am here’ and welcome what is there, good and bad.

Be kind to yourself, don’t be bothered if you get distracted by your thoughts, take a deep breath, following it through the nose and out the mouth. Notice when your mind has wandered to and bring it back by focusing on your breath.

That’s it! The important part is to keep doing this practice regularly, three times a day is effective.

Worth Living Ambassador Marissa Panè

As a teenager I was diagnosed with clinical depression, generalized anxiety disorder and my life was almost cut short due to a crippling battle with anorexia nervosa. Since restoring my mental health, I made it my mission to help anyone and everyone avoid the suffering that accompanies mental illness.

When I began my journey of recovery in 2012, I had no idea what to expect. I was young, naive and believed anorexia was going to be the end of me because fully letting go of my mental demons seemed like way too difficult of a task.
There were family, friends, therapists and even strangers on the internet that believed recovery was possible for me. The only problem was, I needed to believe there was hope in recovery and I didn’t.

It seemed so scary. Give up what was giving me a sense of identity? No way!

Ultimately I made the correct choice and embarked on this new chapter of my life.

What I wish I knew then are these few things. It would have helped me to see that recovery was possible and worth taking the leap far sooner.

Recovery, in any sense, is a great achievement to unlock.

You can be recovering from a drug addiction, an alcohol addiction, an eating disorder, a suicide attempt or any other event that requires returning to a normal state of health, mind, or strength.

Recovery, as great as it is to reach, isn’t a linear path. It’s a lifelong event with relapse knocking on your door every day. No matter how hard it knocks on your door, don’t let the destructive behavior back into your life!

Your mind’s in full workout mode, doing an intense exercise circuit – all day, every day to keep your perceptions aligned with reality.

Your mental strength increases every moment you keep the door to your past shut. Recovery is based solely on your mental strength so as long as you keep the addictive demons at bay, you’ll have the power to stay in recovery forever.
Something I wish people told me prior to beginning my recovery from anorexia, was that I would be recovering for the rest of my life. You can be in recovery for 80+ years, but you’ll never be able to claim that you’re fully recovered.

No matter how much mental strength you gain, demons of your past are always waiting to spot a weak moment so they can barge into your life again.

As soon as you believe you’re fully recovered, no longer worrying about relapse or using daily recovery skills, you become a sitting duck. Relapse is waiting for that moment to pounce.

If you relate the idea that recovery is a mental workout, it makes it easier to adjust your lifestyle appropriately. If you were going to work out physically, you’d stay hydrated, eat healthier and probably aim to have a better night’s rest. Do the same for your mind!

As humans (sorry fellow robot readers) we’re mostly made up of water – so keep water flowing and help your body replenish what it uses. That same idea applies to what you’re eating. Fruits and vegetables are mostly made up of water too, so be sure to include those in your diet.

The more you help yourself in an external sense, the more your body will reciprocate and help you in an internal sense.
I notice the effects of diet and water consumption in my life, only when I neglect my body of what it needs. If I’m eating pizza, chips and beer all week, I start to notice my depression cycling in and I usually feel a HUGE force of eating disordered thoughts swarming in too. It’s an instant note to self to give my body what it wants by cutting back the junk.

No one cares about your past and if they do, they’re not worth your time in the present.

Before I entered the recovery stage of my eating disorder, I was constantly plagued by the idea that ‘all my hard work would be erased’. As in, all the weight I had painstakingly lost would’ve been wasted time because as soon as I’d begin recovery, I’d be forced to re-gain weight.

I was also plagued by what others would think. I was terrified by my own disillusions. I thought people would see me as a failure, someone who lost weight but couldn’t keep it off.

I thought I’d be seen as ordinary and boring as soon as I chose to give up anorexia. My eating disorder gave me a sense of identity in my disillusioned mind.

I was stuck in a ‘what if’ mindset for far too long. I denied my own health because of my personal conversations with delusional thoughts.

Once beginning to recover from my eating disorder, I noticed that nothing happened. Absolutely nothing. The world didn’t end, the sidewalk didn’t split into two, and no one seemed to care or notice my return to health.

Here’s the thing, people are so wrapped up in their own minds and their own ‘what if’ problems, they have no time to care about anyone other than themselves.

That means you’re in the clear! No one cares about what you’ve done in the past, no one cares what you’re doing now and no one cares what you’ll do in the future. As long as your plans don’t personally affect them, you’re free to put on a purple unicorn suit and do the cha-cha. (Or whatever else you may have had in mind!).

On the off-chance that someone IS paying attention and caring enough about what you’re doing that they take the time out of their day to comment on it, they have unresolved issues of their own. When we negatively project onto others, we’re showcasing our inner struggles.

When someone talks negatively about another person, it’s because they are seeing the negative aspects of themselves in that other person. As opposed to fixing the problem within oneself, they criticize others who exhibit the behavior they dislike in their own life.

Stay in tune with your own mind and you’ll start to see you exhibit this behavior too.

Recovery marks the start of a new life. This new reality makes your dreams and desires seem so close but your constant anxiety is holding you back, making everything seem unobtainable.

Talk about a buzzkill.

A life in recovery is rooted with hope and personal growth. It provides you with a sense of protection, that you can do whatever you set your heart on. If you can conquer recovery, anything is possible!

Well, that’s until your anxiety starts to kick in. Depending on your skills to combat anxiety, the uneasiness and the fear may try to take you backwards in life. I’m not talking about your anxiety leading you away from recovery, but instead, your dreams.

I noticed this happen within myself! When I had a strong handle on recovery from anorexia, I directed my passion towards helping others. I dreamt of owning my own company. I wanted to help others who struggled with body dysmorphia to see how truly beautiful they are.

I began to work towards my dream, but the closer I became to obtaining the reality of it, the more my anxiety told me no.

My anxiety wanted me to stay where I was. I was doing great in recovery, resulting in my subconscious becoming terrified that if I were to progress into the stage of helping others, I would be free from my mental demons.

This was, as the book A Course In Miracles describes, my ego, screaming for me to choose fear over love.
Our ego can only exist in fear, as soon as we choose love, we deny the voice of our ego which destroys its existence. The ego’s only purpose is to convince us that love isn’t real so it can destroy us. The ego produces all of our fearful thoughts. According to The Course, “It is your thoughts alone that cause you pain”. Once we distance ourselves from love based thoughts, our ego thrives and pushes fear into our path.

If you are unfamiliar with A Course in Miracles, this may be super overwhelming and confusing. Don’t worry! I will be using the information in The Course as a guide in much of my future writing so please hang in there.

To recap: I was able to choose love over fear. During my quest for a life based in love and recovery, SPIES  ( Support People in Every Situation ) was created  It’s not exactly what I had in mind five years ago, in fact, it’s so much greater!

When you choose love, you’re allowing the universe, a God if you will, to lead the way.

The universe has a plan much bigger and more complex than what we can understand. By surrendering, believing, and allowing the universe to take control of your life, amazing things can and will happen.

In my case, it led to the creation of SPIES. On my own I would never have dreamt of an idea this magical, but here I am living a wonderful life with the universe guiding me forward.

I hope this post served you well!

Please visit my website http://SPIESFitToFight

Worth Living Ambassador Chaz White

I’m just a 26 year old bearded dude that can be seen driving around in my Jeep with the top and doors off trying to keep my Blue Heeler pup “Rubi” from jumping out at your car as we pass. I suffer from and have Bipolar, OCD, ADHD, and Anxiety. I believe in community, storytelling, meds, and therapy as a path to recovery and healthily managing mental illness.

Caution: This post discusses suicide and self-harm.

So much of my life has been shrouded in darkness, consumed by thoughts I couldn’t control and overwhelmed by anxiety. However, piece by piece, year by year, I kept progressing towards the very simple idea that it’s a good thing to be alive and that I should celebrate that. While this story of mine isn’t filled with giant triumphs, lighting strikes, or one specific moment that changed the course of my life. It is an honest take on what recovery and hope have looked like for me personally.

I haven’t cut or self- harmed in 11 years which I celebrate. I also celebrate anybody on day one or week one because that’s how 11 years happens. One day at a time. So let’s, you and I, first make one thing extremely clear. Recovery happens one day at a time which builds into weeks, months, and then years. Don’t ever feel shame for being on hour one, day one, or week one. Your victory is your victory and as bad as it is to let someone else lessen that, it’s even worse to let your own brain dampen the celebration party, so celebrate today for whatever stage you’re in!

However, at the same time for me, until six months ago, I was still begging a God I was losing faith in to take my life and end my suffering. All I could focus on was everything mental illness took from me. My record deal, the friends I left, the girl friends I hurt, the family members I let down, and most painfully the judgement I was placing on myself. I was consumed with negative thoughts but I didn’t want to commit suicide anymore (this was a victory for me! Not winning the entire war, but still a victory!).  I just didn’t want to be alive in the first place.

Here’s where I would love to say that I started yoga/weightlifting/met the “right person”/Jesus/started meditating/or something culturally relevant had saved my life and gave me hope! However, even though I do go to the gym (when possible), I was a pastor, I do meditate, I am married, and I even read cheesy self- help books which all left me tired with a feeling that I had expended all options to no avail. I had no hope to hold onto until I met my current doc/therapist.

It was therapy, real, legit, hard, sometimes painful, therapy that gave me hope. Yes I take meds that do keep me stable and checked off all the aforementioned “solutions” to mental illness but it was therapy made me want to live again. Therapy gave me a space of peace within the war silently raging inside my head. Therapy taught me I wasn’t crazy, wasn’t bad, wasn’t a failure, wasn’t less than anyone else, and that I was just another human. Another human sucking down oxygen from innocent trees that was allowed to be broken but also allowed to have hope.

If I’m honest, it feels anticlimactic not to have a big bold claim about something that made my life worth living. I’m not out saving orphans, I’m not suddenly going on tour playing music, I’m not a vegan yogi, I’m not even back in school like I dream to be but what I’ve learned in therapy has shifted the paradigm in my head. I spent my high school years cutting myself for a myriad of reasons. I spent my early twenties having moved past the desire to self-harm only to meet the desire to have never been born in the first place. At 26, I can honestly say that I want to live and therapy gave me the peace, acceptance, and ability to feel this way.

I may not wake up every day like Captain America (insert super hero of your choice here) and I may feel much more like Dead Pool (insert self -deprecating and begrudging hero here) but I am at least thankful to be alive. Thankful I can play guitar and sing with the audience of my faithful and energetic Blue Heeler pup. Thankful for the many the breaths I inhaled while writing this. And quite bluntly, I’m just thankful I believe life is Worth Living because of the fruit that hard work in therapy produces.

Find your path to recovery and fight for a life worth living in which you can believe. It will probably look nothing like mine on paper but I’m rooting for you every step of the way as are all the Worth Living Ambassadors and the mental health community at large.

You can win this war inside your head that was never asked for, you can feel hope, you can believe that your life is Worth Living.

Here’s to you and the story you’ll tell someday about what recovery looked like in your life!

NOTE: If you, a family member, friend, or colleague is experiencing  thoughts of suicide or distress, call 911 now.
Other resources:
Canada- Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention  http://Suicide Prevention
USA – National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255
United Kingdom   http://NHS

Worth Living Ambassador Cynthia Rizzo

I am a 23 year old Latina, born and raised in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. Former film student at Vancouver Film School. Currently navigating her way through the storm with a hot chocolate and two reluctant cats.  Writes poetry, currently in the process of writing a short film,  and planning a third visit to Europe.

Caution: This post discusses suicide.

My experience with my mental illness has been chaotic over the years. As much as I tried to cope with it or pretend I’m okay, there was no question that I still didn’t and still don’t know how to properly manage it.

It wasn’t entirely my fault thinking I could just ignore it. I kind of had to. My father for a brief time didn’t believe in mental illness or anything close to it. He would tell me that it’s all in my head and to bottle up my feelings.

“There is no reason to be sad.”

“Why are you crying?”

“You are not depressed, it’s all in your head.”

Without even noticing, my mood and my overall health declined rapidly. Whatever darkness that lurked inside had finally broke free.

I started to feel suicidal and would do anything I could to put myself in danger.

I was reckless and untamed and it felt good.

But it scared me. This wasn’t me. I knew I needed help, but I refused to get it.

All it took to turn things around was an overdose and everything my dad thought he knew about mental illness changed drastically.

When I finally understood what I just did, I ran to him, told him what I had done and the next thing I knew, I was being taken into the emergency room.

I remember the tears that fell from my dad’s eyes. He was terrified and full of sorrow. I, in all my life, have never seen my father, this stoic man cry. Not even once.

He blamed himself and he still does at times for how bad it got. If he had supported me earlier, maybe things would have been different.

My dad’s attitude and frankly, my whole family, changed their outlook on mental illness in general that day.  And for that I’ll always be grateful. I just wished it didn’t have to be like that.

It hasn’t gotten any easier but I’m still learning, and I still slip up at times. And this past year was a slip up.
I was faced with so many challenges and agony that I attempted suicide two more times.

Luckily, I have survived, not once or twice, but three times.

My depression and suicidal thoughts are not going anywhere, that much I understand. I’m sure that I will be on medication and in therapy for a long time. And that’s okay.

Though, I’m not sure what my purpose is in life. But having an opportunity to tell my story and share my experience should count for something right?

It will get better.

Maybe not today, but someday.

NOTE: If you, a family member, friend, or colleague is experiencing  thoughts of suicide or distress, call 911 now.
Other resources:
Canada- Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention  http://Suicide Prevention
USA – National Suicide Prevention Lifeline 1-800-273-8255
United Kingdom   http://NHS

Worth Living Ambassador Niko Colletti

Hey there! I’m Niko, 20 years old, of Southern Ontario.  I’m on a journey to find myself and discover what truly makes me happy, while continuing to learn how to function in this complicated world around me.  I was diagnosed with High-Functioning Autism as well as Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) at a very young age, and it’s been a long haul living with a brain wired so differently.  I intend to continue bettering myself while sharing my experiences with those who are feeling overwhelmed in their struggles, showing that with enough determination and patience, you will persevere no matter what demons share your company.

I’ve made a lot of progress in these last few months, both with getting my negative thoughts into a more manageable order, and developing strategies to help me maintain order in my life with my unmedicated ADHD brain. While I still have a long way to go in my recovery, this is the first time where I can truly see progress has been made, and I’m finally beginning to genuinely enjoy life for the first time in years.  Today I’m going to touch a little bit on my physical health, and how making some changes to my lifestyle have really played a role in a clearer head so far.

Between my visits to my therapist and research I did on my own time, I learned the importance of physical health in our ability to think and reason and how much it contributes to living a longer and fuller life.  Mental and physical health are equally important; you can’t have one without the other, and healthy living is not simply about thinking positively or eating salad every day.  There’s no secret formula, and no one-size-fits-all approach for everyone.  It takes work, persistence and determination to make a difference in your life.  Commitment is the best way to sum it up.  You need to be committed to bettering yourself and resilient to failure, as you will be weak at times and have to try again, but thats okay!  Just don’t be too hard on yourself. Changing your character takes time, and you will have to be careful choosing your actions. Remember, your actions become habits, and your habits become character. Before you know it, making healthy choices for your body and mind will simply be who you are!

About a month and a half ago, I started going to the gym.  Because of my lack of self-confidence, I wanted to try and change that by improving my physical appearance.  In addition, my therapist had made it apparent that while regular physical activity improves brain function overall, it makes a huge difference in those with ADHD, curbing impulsivity by a long shot, allowing clearer thought-processing and better emotion-regulation. This was enough for me to finally look into a membership.  By mid-December, I had gotten used to the machines and was religiously working out about five times a week.  The transformation already has astounded me!  Not only am I starting to see muscle tone, but as a result I am always hungry!  I started challenging myself to eat at least three sources of lean protein everyday to help put on size, and to help my ADHD brain function better day-to-day. I avoid sugar as much as I can.

As a result of eating healthier, I have more energy, and I find myself to be sharper than before.  I’m still clumsy but I find myself already generating solutions as I’m making mistakes. By the time I’ve messed up, I’m already correcting whatever it is that I messed up on.  I’ve started taking magnesium supplements to help regulate my emotions, and fish oil supplements to help further improve brain function.  I started doing all of this as a result of simply going to the gym for half an hour nearly everyday, and while I knew all of this was going to help me, simply starting to work out helped motivate me to further improve my health. Taking the first step is always the hardest.

While I enjoy going to the gym, I wanted to find other ways to be active that were fun and allowed me to learn a new skill and find a hobby I could enjoy with my friends, and make new ones!  About a week ago, I tried snowboarding for the first time.  I fell in love with it.  If  it was up to me, I’d be on the hill every weekend!  I love the thrill and for someone who has such a difficult time getting out in the winter, I am ecstatic that I found something to do that won’t keep me cooped up at home.  Even if I can’t get to the hill and I’m feeling down, going to the gym for a good workout always seems to get me into a better frame of mind.

I guess what I’m getting at is that healthier eating and regular exercise have helped improve my self confidence, physical health and brain functioning in the small amount of time its been, which is my motivation to continue!  As sticking to something is difficult for an ADHDer, I’ve been keeping track of my healthy habits, which I’ll talk about more in-depth in a future post.  Nothing good comes easy, and there are days where I feel like I’m sinking again.  If you’re reading this, you know exactly about what I’m talking. Just know that if you’re persistent and patient, you can make a habit out of everything and you will overcome what you’re dealing with. I promise, we’re all in this together!  That’s all for this month.

Don’t be afraid to give the gym, or that sport you’ve always been interested in a go.  Remember, starting is the hardest part.  It only gets easier and more enjoyable from here!  🙂

“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.”  -Jim Rohn

Worth Living Ambassador Marcus Brown

My name is Marcus Brown, I live  in London, and I’m currently a 12x marathon runner.

I was never really into long distance running at school, however following a bet from a friend I signed up for a 10K in 2006. I don’t like backing down from a challenge even though I was unfit from university. The training was very hard and many times I had serious reservations about whether I would complete it. But the sense of satisfaction I had from completing the 10k gave me so much confidence, and I promptly signed up for another 10k.

Over the next few years, I built up my confidence from running 10k and half marathon distances to signing up for my first full marathon which was in Abingdon in 2008. After the long training period, then to complete the marathon, it gave me so much confidence of what I was capable. Although my time wasn’t fast, I learnt not to place limitations on what I believed I was, whether you’re slow or fast, you’re a runner in my eyes.

I like to be challenged which is why I enjoy running. It’s a great reminder to not always stay in your comfort zone.

In 2016, I completed my goal which was to run four marathons in one year, to highlight and raise awareness that 1 in 4 people in the UK will experience a mental health challenge each year and encourage others of the importance exercise has in working towards the balance between a healthy mind and healthy body.

My long term goal is an extension of the 2016 goal, to complete the six world marathon majors. I’ve completed the London, Berlin and New York marathons (3 out of 6). And my other goal is to work towards a three hour marathon.
In the morning, it’s easy to take care of things we can physically see.

But in terms of mental health it’s so important to take care of the mind also. If we look at our basic emotions of fear or love, these can subconsciously dictate our conscious moods for the day. Hence why it’s important to get the mind focused to best serve you for that day.

Try this for 10 minutes

1.If you are facing a challenge, ask what one thing you can do to make a positive difference today.

2.Think of approximately three things  for which you are grateful.

3.Think of approximately three goals/values your committed to achieving.

Some people pray, some people mediate. These are different ways of getting your mind focused in a way that will better serve you. What’s suggested above can be modified to suit based on what works for you.

You could even do it with or without exercise.