Worth Living | Worth Living

Worth Living Ambassador & Official DJ Scratchley Q

Worth Living Top 10 Countdown – Lost and Found

Sometimes on our journeys in life we get lost. Sometimes we are lost for a long time, sometimes just momentarily. What comes from being lost is being found and learning new things. As people we grow from being lost. Sometimes we need others to help us find ourselves. Sometimes we can find ourselves on our own. This week we count down Worth Living’s Top 10 Lost and Found songs.

Enjoy! – Scratchley Q

10. Lost Horizon – Ray Bloch Orchestra

9. Lost and Found – Chris Brown

8. Anywhere But Nowhere – Gene Chandler and Barbara Acklin

7. Lost & Found – Tedy

6. I Finally Found My Way – Kiss

5. I Found Myself – Ciara

4. Destination: Nowhere – Chesterfield

3. Awake and Alive – Skillet

2. Lost and Found – UB40

1. Soon We’ll be Found – Sia Furler

Worth Living Ambassador Ashley Wunsch

Hello, my name is Ashley Wunsch and I am studying International Development and Globalization at the University of Ottawa. I always had a desire to change the world. Last year, I realized that changing the world isn’t only digging wells and building schools, but also taking care of yourself and your mental health, so I started to get involved with organizations surrounding mental health like Worth Living.

Everything Happens for a Reason

The past few months it seems like I’ve been riding a roller coaster. It’s been pretty rough (on my heart at least). I tend to apply to a lot of things and most times I do not get them. Now I am not writing this to look for pity or anything along those lines, simply because I learned something behind it all that I would like to share, and it is also very therapeutic. There have been plenty of times in the past few months where it felt like my world was crashing, but most importantly, I’m still here and I survived it. Yes, my heart was broken many times when I did not get what I applied for, but then other opportunities that I never considered showed up to take their place.

The first of many heartbreaks would have to be applying to be on my student association. I applied for the role I’ve been eyeing since my first day of school and at the end of the day I did not get it. This is not a bash against the individual who did in any way as I am genuinely happy for them and know they will do a great job. However, I also can’t pretend I was fine when I heard their name being called, as my heart shattered in a million pieces. Since starting university, I wanted to fill the hole in my heart where student government used to be. I loved high school and my time in student government made me who I am today. I wanted to continue down that path more than anything especially in a role that I am so passionate about. So of course, I tried out for the role and when I didn’t get it, I tried so hard to hold in the tears and it worked until I got home at least. Stepping into my room, I was a mess that cried for four hours straight. I couldn’t understand why things worked out the way they did. I knew as bad as it may hurt that when I wake up the next day it would all be okay as there was nothing I could do about it and the individual who won the spot would be fantastic at it. I reassured myself that everything would be okay and that I don’t need a label or a position on my student association to be worth something, that I am more than that position. For that reason, I eventually fell asleep.

The next day, an amazing opportunity hit me. I convinced myself that there was a reason I did not get my role because I wouldn’t have time to do both this new one and the one I applied to. I was asked to be the co-president of the club of the organization I hope to work for one day. It was so honouring and rewarding especially since I will only be in my second year of university. As many organizations have taught me, age doesn’t matter to have an impact on the world. I gladly accepted the role and felt like I was floating on a cloud. The heartbreak from the day before diminished almost completely. Until, well I decided to apply for another executive positon. Fast forward two weeks- I did not get that role either.

I was hesitant applying at first, as I do not want to be a part of my student association just to get the credit that I am on the executive or to tell people I am on the exec. I want to be on my student association because I love it with all my heart and want to be as involved and as involved as possible. However, after the third try (once last fall), I started to think that it isn’t for me. There are so many opportunities and I am not necessarily ‘giving up’ but honestly, I do not know how many times I can willingly allow my heart to break. Besides, back to my train of thought of before; I don’t NEED to be on the executive to have a say or to attend events or to be involved – labels do not define us. For that reason, who knows where I will be and if I will try out again in the fall or next spring, only time will tell.

Yet coincidentally, it seems that when negative aspects hit me, a positive one will follow the next day. I was then offered a job in my hometown. I was honoured to be thought of and to be asked. However, in the moment I applied for my dream job, so I told them I would need to wait and see on their response. Initially, I did not get the job, meaning I accepted two jobs at home. A week later however, I got an email saying I was asked for an interview at my dream job. I was torn, not wanting to hurt my employers at home, but if I did, I would be hurting myself and not going for my dream. For that reason, in the moment, I decided to keep things on the down low and take the interview. I was not going to not try but I also wasn’t going to cause a scene where there’s a chance I did not get the job at the same time. In the end, I did get the job. I was happier than ever; my dream job awaits me. Yet, now it was time to tell the two other employers. Luckily, they seemed to take it alright, for which I am grateful but it was a process of overthinking and over analyzing the situation.

Social media seems to be filled with the positives in our lives which I do not blame anyone as I tend to post my highlights as well. Yet, I am also trying to post the downsides and the lessons that come out of them. Life is filled with ups and downs and we can all share our experiences and learn from each other. I did not get either executive positions and that’s okay. Just because I failed once doesn’t mean I need to stay down in that low area, I can pick myself back up piece by piece and grow from the experience. Just because I failed to get a position doesn’t mean I am a failure. If anything, it shows that I am willing to try new things. Honestly, this post has taken me two weeks to write, trying to make it as perfect as possible and trying to show that I have no grudges against anyone and make sure nobody looks bad in it. Yet I am glad to be able to one, finish this post and two, say that everything happens for a reason. Yes, I did not get the student association roles but instead I got two positions with the organization of my dreams, putting me one step closer to working for them after my graduation and I couldn’t be happier.

Worth Living Ambassador Haddi Browne

Hello, my name is Haddi. I am a Research professional and a Psychology graduate. During my course, I volunteered within various mental health services, which included working on a helpline for people affected by mental illness, organising activities for inpatients on a psychiatric ward, and working in a therapeutic community for people with severe mental illnesses. For me, the most interesting parts of my degree were learning about different mental illnesses and their causes and treatments.

Relationship Tips

Relationships are one of the most important aspects of our everyday lives and are central to our wellbeing. Research carried out by Mind and the largest provider of relationship support, Relate, found that:
Mental health problems can put a substantial strain on romantic relationships. Three in five people with mental health problems said it caused partnerships to break-up in the past. Four in five people said that it had affected their sex life.

There are unique benefits of close relationships for people with mental health problems and open communication is vital. Anyone finding their relationship hard to manage should seek appropriate support and advice.
60% of people surveyed thought that being in a relationship has had a positive impact on their mental health.
If you are experiencing difficulties relating to mental health problems in a relationship, find out more about managing your mental health or a loved one’s mental health by visiting the information and support pages of the Mind website. To get tips on coping with your mental health in a relationship, visit Relate’s website.

Here are some tips from Psychology Today on fostering a deep and loving relationship:

Kind, constant, and honest communication. Without talking, your relationship will not survive. The more you communicate, the closer you will be.

The willingness to work through difficulties and disagreements. Throwing in the towel, even if you don’t walk out the door, is not the path to happiness. You must face the discomfort that comes with differing opinions and ideas.
A sense of humour, some fun, and a bit of distraction from the rigors of daily life. You can’t spend all your free time “working” on your relationship—don’t make it a hobby. Discuss what you like to do, where you’d like to go, and how you both like to have fun. Then go do it.

Sharing life lessons with the one you love. When you discover something about life, or you make a self-correcting move that is healthy for your relationship, let your partner know. You’ll be surprised by the positive response.
Emotional support, validation, and compliments. If you don’t feel that you partner likes and respects you, there will not be a strong connection. You have to lift each other up and let each other know the depth of your caring.
Love, intimacy, romance, and sex. These are the cornerstones of a loving relationship. Being great roommates just won’t cut it. There has to be the desire to be together as a couple. You may think the spark has gone, but there are too many ways to rekindle it. All you have to do is try.

Sharing goals and dreams that resonate with both of you. We are happier when we are working toward a goal than when we have achieved one. Make sure you always have something to look forward to and that you are pursuing it as a couple.

Compassion, acceptance, and forgiveness. These will show you the way through a difficult time. If you are together for a while, there will be losses, challenges, and some things that you just can’t fix. Weathering the storms together is a big part of what relationships are all about.

A mutual desire to step outside the box. The tried-and-true is good, but the never- attempted-before may be better. Couples who share new experiences together develop a stronger bond.

Being able to admit mistakes and to talk about them. We all screw up. Learning to understand and let go of mistakes that you or your partner make will turn your life around and give you more time for joy.

Just as we need to breathe to survive, your love needs a breath of fresh air to flourish. Giving your relationship what it needs to thrive is a truly loving gesture.

Worth Living Ambassador & Official DJ Scratchley Q

Worth Living Top 10 Countdown – Shoes

Get your dancing shoes on! This week we are counting down Worth Living’s Top 10 songs about shoes. Enjoy! -Scratchley Q
10. Dancing Shoes – Arctic Monkeys

9. Old Brown Shoe – The Beatles

8. Shoes For Running – Big Boi ft. B.O.B. & Wavves

7. My Adidas – Run DMC

6. Who Wears These Shoes – Elton John

5. Blue Suede Shoes – Elvis Presley

4. Diamonds On The Soles Of Her Shoes – Paul Simon

3. Fire In Your New Shoes – Kaskade

2. Boogie Shoes – KC& The Sunshine Band

1. Blue Suede Shoes – Komodo

Worth Living Ambassador & Official DJ Scratchley Q

Worth Living Top 10 Countdown – Mother’s Day

Happy Mother’s Day, Mom! Let’s celebrate all the amazing mothers in this world! Enjoy this special Mother’s Day Top 10 Countdown. – Scratchley Q

10. Mama Said – Metallica

9. Turn To You (Mother’s Day Dedication) – Justin Bieber

8. Thank You Mom – Good Charlotte

7. A Song For Mama – Boyz II Men

6. Mama’s Song – Carrie Underwood

5. Mama Said – Lukas Gramham

4. I’ll Always Love My Mama – The Intruders

3. Dear Mama – Tupac Shakur

2. Hey Mama – Kanye West

1. Mom – Meghan Trainor ft. Kelli Trainor

Worth Living Ambassador Linda Dias Menezes

I would like to start by introducing myself. My name is Linda Dias Menezes and I have epilepsy, however epilepsy does not define me. I am also a wife a mother, a mentor, an ambassador, a support group facilitator, a Psychology Honors Student at the University of South Africa and an advocate for mental health and epilepsy. I am a founding member and chairperson of Epilepsy Awareness SA an NPO aimed and spreading Epilepsy Awareness in South Africa.

Personal Success

Taking failures and turning them into gifts, preparing yourself for success.

Gifts that produce inspiring success.

The definition of failure is lack of success. However everyone sees success differently. What is your definition of success? Success is defined in the dictionary as the accomplishment of an aim or purpose. Success could be any of the following; • Earning a promotion or starting a new job • Buying your own home or a new fancy car • Expanding your family • Having a happy family life • Getting distinctions and working towards a cum laude or simply passing a module • Finding your purpose in life and chasing your dream no matter what the cost • Giving back to those less fortunate • Realizing an opportunity and grabbing it with both hands.

I can tell you the last few months, I have learned from many “failures” of my own. I think the way I view them makes all the difference. I have learned if I didn’t “fail”, I wouldn’t be where I am now and in the direction I am going now. Each hurdle has taught me a valuable lesson, not only about myself but also the way I view different projects I am working on and how to tackle them. I think not trying is the biggest failure of all. With athletes, gold medals are awarded to the first person who crosses the finish line, yet in reality everyone works and lives at a different pace. Your pace may be slower or quicker than the rest, it doesn’t mean it is the wrong pace. Your gold medal is waiting for you, all you need to do is reach out and work to get there. Whether you get a degree at the age of 23 or 32, you still have a degree. You made it, your hard work has paid off. Whether you get married at 25, 35 or even 45, you are still married to a person that you couldn’t otherwise see yourself without and accomplished what you needed to in that time frame. Whether you a millionaire at 30 or 60, you are still a millionaire. I am sure you get where I am going with this analogy. The only difference is when you start your race and how you prepare to get there overcoming hurdles in your way and not letting them stop you in your tracks. Inspiration hits when you are in the right environment.

People are motivated in two ways; intrinsically, a person is driven by an interest or enjoyment in the actions required to achieve a goal, without relying on external rewards or pressures or extrinsically; this requires external rewards such as money or external consequences such as demotion. Surround yourself with people who inspire you. Your extrinsic motivation will push you to do more and be more when you see others succeeding and intrinsically you will want to do more when you have your goal and have that “feel good buzz”. Each “failure” comes with a life lesson, each with its own rewards that I didn’t notice this before. I changed my perception and now realize that I am actually better off. Even though it took a while for me to realize this and struggled with the idea of why it didn’t work out, I now know how to approach the problem should it arise again. I also realized I had forgotten to value myself. With each “failure”, I became less and less passionate about the cause I was pursuing. Your own survival instinct prefers the comfort zone as anything out of the comfort zone or “safe zone” leads to serious procrastination. Procrastination stops you from accomplishing amazing and great things out of fear of failure. Once you get out of the comfort zone and realize why you are procrastinating, your life will take a turn for the best and you have that “aha” moment. All it takes is one step in the right direction. Search for motivational videos on YouTube, the best example I can give you is Steve Jobs. He started Apple and was kicked out of his own company only to start Pixar and return to Apple years later. Here is a link to one of his most inspiring speeches https://youtu.be/3LbQG0gMFV8.

Listening to music also helps, go check out DJ Scratchley Q’s weekly Vlogs. Each week has its own theme and feel good music. Here is a link to the playlist that we worked on together : http://worthliving.co/2018/03/30/worth-living-top-10-countdown-spring/

I look forward to hearing from you, how did you turn your hurdles into gold medals?

Kindest Regards, Linda Dias Menezes Twitter: @diaslr Instagram: epilepsyawarenesssa Facebook: EpilepsyAwarenessSA Email: epilepsyawarenesssa@gmail.com Website: www.easa.org.za

Worth Living Ambassador Jessie Fawcett

Hello, my name is Jessie and I’m a first-year student attending Ryerson University to obtain a Bachelor’s Degree in Social Work. I am dedicated to being able to work in a juvenile detention centre in order to help aid youths who are struggling with their own lives. Mental health has always had a huge impact on my life and I’m finally starting to be able to share my story in hopes to help others who are also struggling with the same issues as well as shedding some light onto mental health.

The Beauty of the World

I sit here on a boulder which lies on the outside of the train bridge. I listen to the flow of the water rushing beneath me. I admire the sound of the waves crashing against the shore. The cool wind breezes through me just as so many words breeze through my mind.

There was a time where the beauty of the world escaped me. All that I could see was darkness and misery. I was utterly consumed by it. The world seemed like an atrocity, similarly like myself. I could not appreciate the beauty that the world has to offer. However, it’s different now. I am able to breathe-in the environment that surrounds me. I listen to the peaceful whirring of the water and watch how the current makes the river flow in all different directions. I admire the clear blue sky as the sun gazes upon me. I’m soaking in as much of the sun as I can in hopes of lifting my levels of serotonin. The warmth of it caresses my body with tenderness. There is no other feeling like it. I look upon the shores and see the trees all around me. They’re beautiful now, but they are even more so in autumn. The leaves are even more mesmerizing at that time when they reflect the beauty of nature. Even the smell of the forest that surrounds me is oh so uplifting. I try to breathe in as much fresh air as possible in hopes to capture as much positivity as I can. I could sit here for hours just soaking it all in. I cling to it as much as I can. Yet, this is not my favourite part of the world. The night sky is definitely the most beautiful part or the it, in my opinion. It is, in its entirety, mesmerizing as well. There is something about the stars that give me hope. They always shimmer with beauty and no matter what, the night sky is never the same. The stars shoot, they glow, they twinkle, and they grow. It also reminds me that when the earth is dealing with a storm, it casts a shadow among its beauty too. But it only lasts for a little while. It’s temporary because all storms must come to an end.

Although, what does this have to do in regard to depression? Let me clarify; depression steals every glimpse of happiness that a person has. It blinds us from the beauty of the world. We can’t feel the wind hit against the trees and into our souls. Wanting to go outside and soak in the sun through our pores seems impossible. Smiles that are supposed to be caused by the clear blue skies are nonexistent. The stars don’t shine as bright, they don’t shoot as far, and they don’t appear as beautiful. But in order to lift the depression, it is crucial to retrieve the light; in order to find the beauty in things that once made you genuinely smile, that once made you happy.

This is the message that I wish to pass on to those of you who have yet to find your light. It’s still there, don’t ever forget that. You just need to recover the things that made you notice the light in the first place. Go to places that once made you happy. Remind yourself why you’re still here. Find peace in the things that you cannot control. Learn to laugh at your faults and learn to accept what you have no power to change. I thought that everything about the world was ugly and that nothing would ever change. I’m not sure what really flipped the switch for me to realise that that wasn’t at all true. It’s something that you need to develop and realise on your own. I suggest starting with the little things, like thinking of what your favourite smells are and then going places to find them (more specifically about the outdoors if that is what interests you). What kind of views make you smile? If you enjoy sunsets, go watch them set. Where could you spend hours without getting tired of being there? Even if it isn’t your favourite thing to go outside, at least make an attempt . You would be surprised at how much soaking in the sun is able to lift your mood.

In the past year, I have learned a lot about myself including how to find myself again. I’ve noticed that I don’t doubt myself quite as much as I did before. I don’t contemplate numbing nor ending the pain as much as I did before. I noticed that I don’t hold myself back as much anymore and I’m finally open to trying new things and having the willingness to want to have new experiences. I have learned that it is completely okay to ask for help. I have learned that I am not alone in this god forsaken battle anymore. I was able to find myself again by seeking help and grasping onto my friends as well as making new ones who face the same struggles as I do. I am still living with depression, it is not a dirty word. But, I am working extremely hard to fight the darkness and find more of the light. After nearly six long years of pain I am finally able to see the beautiful things that the world has to offer.

The darkness is still a part of me and I’m uncertain if it will ever leave me completely. However, it no longer consumes me and I’ll be damned to let the depression beat me.

Worth Living Ambassador & Official DJ Scratchley Q

Worth Living Top 10 Countdown – Travel

Travel is a wonderful experience. Marcel Proust once said “The real voyage of discovery consists not in seeking new landscapes, but in having new eyes.” Enjoy! – Scratchley Q

10. Come Fly With Me – Frank Sinatra